several years ago, my brother and i were with some guys from my work, playing basketball in a church gym. during some down time, my brother decides to run and jump up onto a stack of bleachers that had been pushed back - the top that he was trying to jump to being about 4 feet off the ground. (i know what you're thinking, and yes, i really do have an actual brother who tried this. i'm not telling a story about myself and trying to blame the decision on a fictional "friend"). so off he goes - i think because someone else had done it first - running, timing his steps, getting closer, knows what he's doing, everyone's watching. he takes a couple stutter steps to put himself in the right position, takes the last two big steps, jumps off the left foot, stretches toward the top with the right foot, reaching for the top of the bleachers. gravity kicks in and his foot starts decending - oh! just a little short. shin bone is the first thing to touch the bleacher, and shin bone skin is the last thing to come off the beachers. everybody let's out the simultaneous "OHHHHHH!!!!" then my brother responds with "I should have listened to that little man in my head saying 'don't do it, don't do it!'"
know what it's like to know something as fact in your mind, but then you have to experience it to really get it? that seems to be my primary way of learning. i can't tell you how many times, especially over the past year, i've had something in my head, or God has impressed something on my heart, but then it takes an intense, frustrating situation for me to really get it. not that i always enjoy learning that way. i guess it's not comfortable because it means i don't really know what i think i know, which goes back to the pride issue that none of us like to admit to. and maybe that's what it's all about - God carving the pride out our lives so we become more like Him, and more sensitive to His Spririt within us, which is kind of like listening to that litte man in our heads that says "Don't do it..."
the lyrics to the jars of clay song on my last post are such a real expression of the pain that is often involved in the process of God's work on our lives. sometimes it burns us up inside to have to learn something we think we already know, but we need God to fan the flames of that burning in order to melt away our pride. when we are crushed by the "fatal cut" and we want to hide our faces, God will lift us up, which means we learn to stand by His grace instead of our own strength. sometimes we pray for a shelter from the rain, when God wants to use the rain to wash us away.
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and His rule." Matthew 5:3 (Message)